Everywhere!

   This post has no pictures and you'll thank me when you know what it's about. Tonight I experienced the worst poop incident EVER! At least I'm laughing now. It's not as bad as you might imagine, but it was bad.  It began in the kitchen. I was putting the dishes away and planning to make Sammy's dinner and the little tike would not stop trying to climb into the dishwasher, so it was exersaucer time. He usually plays in it and squawks at me as I putter around the kitchen.
  So there I was puttering away - dishes put away and turning my mind to baby food when I smell it. And I noticed that Sammy's squawking was a bit different than normal. "Sammy, do you have a poopy diaper?"
  Have you ever zoomed in on a object and it seems nothing else is in sight? That's what happened to me. As soon as I asked this question, I noticed Sammy's foot. The one he was picking up and putting down and picking up and putting down... in... "Is that poop!?" On your foot, and all over the bottom of your exersaucer? Oh, dear Lord, how am I gonna get this poop mess cleaned up?
  I had to pick Sam up, but how was I going to get him cleaned off without getting poop all over me and the house.  (Yeah, now I'm thinking paper towels - lots of them may have done the trick, but I panicked people, I panicked!)
  So I picked Sam up and held him out and made a run for the bathroom.  Immediate crying ensued.  He must have sensed my panic - or maybe it was my determined efforts to not let his poop foot or butt touch me. Then I met my first obstacle - the baby/dog gate! "Ahh! It's closed!"
  Must.open. Must not put poopy baby on the floor. Must not let poopy baby touch me. Must not let poopy baby touch gate. Must not drop poopy baby.  Somehow I managed to angle my poopy child so his poop side was pointed away from me while holding him with one hand and opening the gate with the other hand... And I'm through! Yes!
  All I could think of then was the diaper sprayer in our bathroom. (Yes, we cloth diaper and have a diaper sprayer for spraying poop off of diapers into the toilet.) Normally, this is only used on diapers, but there has been a containment breach people, so it's got to be used on my son to get this mess under control.
  Sammy went into the bath tub and the sprayer came out. I started spraying off Sammy's foot and the tears that had started to subside suddenly begin to come out in wails. I on the other hand was trying to not laugh hysterically (for those who know me well... I find poop funny - gross, but funny). My poor child was feeling traumatized and I could hardly keep from laughing as I pull off his diaper and sprayed his butt and legs and toes off.
  I left the dirty diaper and poop residue in the bathtub to deal with later and rushed a dripping Sammy into his changing table to make sure all the poop is off. I wipe him down with a couple of cloth wipes - there was still a little bit of poop to clean off his bottom, but it was no longer everywhere. Woo! My mind started to slow down and I started to think more clearly. "Okay, Sammy - let's give you a bath now!"
  Since Sammy's no longer poopy, I give him a cuddle and take him to play in the bathtub.  I used A LOT of soap on this boy and and cleaned between ALL of his toes. Sam loves his baths and soon he was laughing and splashing with delight.  The poop ordeal was over - for him.
  After his bath, Sammy got to eat his dinner.  But first I put the poopy exersaucer outside and brought the dog in (thank the Lord Hagrid was outside when this was all happening - as it was he sniffed all around looking for the poop when I brought him in).
  Chris got home and we put Sammy to bed in a nice clean diaper. Then I went and cleaned off the poopy diaper and scrubbed out the bathtub with every kind of cleaner we have. Chris went out and sprayed off the exersaucer and washed it with soap. Ah, Sammy - sleep well our son.
  As a friend once said, when we smell poop, we never find rainbows and unicorns in our kids' diapers. I can confirm, there was only poop - lots of it. I wish is was rainbows and unicorns... trying not to think of the Skittles motto... too late!